Competence and Control
We put our lives on hold to train, compete and win (Olympics, ironman) for the reward of feeling competent and successful. Entrepreneurs and scientists are relentless in the pursuit of solving a problem or making a discovery that is more about success than a financial reward. We purchase luxury cars and expensive homes as a symbol to ourselves and others that we are a success. Yes, we regretfully play video games till 2am to beat our high score or speed up to not let people pass us in the next lane.
From when we are very young, we are constantly saying "I can do that" or "Let me try". We want to not only prove our competence, we want to have control. We get frustrated when we have to rely on people that don't always come through. While we need desire Love and Connection and know we sometime require Family and Support, we value our independence. It may be demonstrated through dignity (a senior citizen staying in their own home) or pride (being proud of what you accomplished).
Examples of Competence and Control:
- Competent - Feeling competent from a success or accomplishment
- Confident - Feeling confident that you have (skills, abilities) you need if your desire is to improve your [Personal Well-Being|personal well-being]]. The opposite of this is hopeless depression that things can't get better.
- Control - Feeling you control your destiny and have the abilities, health, financial and support to make it happen. The opposite is anxiety that things are out of your control.
- Dignity - Being able to get respect from others that you are competent and important to society
- Worthy - You are worthy to be accepted in the desired social circles
- Proud - proud of what you have accomplished, family and what you are doing with life.
Competence and Control is a component of personal well-being.
